Shark Fights 13 Live Blog

So, a funny thing happened while I was watching Shark Fights 13. Funnier than the fact that I was watching Shark Fights 13, even. I saw Don Frye’s shirt. Frye, who is one-thirds of the commentary team with Bas Rutten and the incomparable Ron Kruck, is wearing an amazing American flag button up shirt and a ridiculous hat that looks like it may have been stolen right off of Crocodile Dundee’s head. Then I thought, “this needs to be live blogged. And here we are. Refresh regularly for updates AS THEY OCCUR! Technology!

9:00- “Like a white shark circling in the ocean, Shark Fights is ready to strike!” Yes, Ron Kruck, yes!

9:02- For anyone who missed the prelims on Sherdog.com, Frye has your summary: “It was like prison sex…it was hard, it was violent, it was sweaty and a lot of noise.” Live blogging this was a good decision.

9:03- Frye gets asked about wrestlers and gives this summary of bad cauliflower ears: “Look at those ears- looks like he got stuck in the birth canal, had to beat him out with a stick!”

9:05- Kruk incorrectly says it’s Daley’s first fight since being booted from the UFC. He fought at Impact FC 2 in July, beating Daniel Acacio. Frye does the Jaws theme while we go to the introductions.

9:11- I always love Rutten’s enthusiasm. Frye’s is scary. His voice is even gruffer than you remember- he is the ultimate dirty uncle. I love it. We’re getting a bonus fight as Shark Fight’s way of saying, “hey, the prelims went too long, we have to throw this fight on sometime.” They better move this along briskly or they could end up with a UFC 33 scenario.

9:13- Don Frye describes the first competitor, Paul Bradley as “built like a brick shithouse.” Meanwhile, his opponent, John Reese, is tall and has a slighter build. Frye says he looks like the kind of guy who “reaches over his shoulder to get his wallet.” Oh, and Reese is “The Hater Hurter”. I love this. Love it.

9:17- Bradley gets the takedown and has half-guard, trying to pass to side mount. Working a little ground and pound. Frye accurately points out that so many U.S. fans are impatient, as they are booing for no good reason, other than their bloodlust.

9:20- Bradley squirts around to the back for a rear naked choke attempt, or a guillotine choke if you’re Ron Kruck. He gets it, fight’s over right before the end of the round.

9:22- “If I was Reese, I’d go to Bradley’s hometown and rob a bank!” says Frye.

9:26- A surprisingly-tasteful 9/11 tribute takes us to the next fight: Tarec Saffiedine vs. UFC/WEC veteran Brock Larson.

9:32- No strikes thrown for the first 45 seconds. The two engage and Saffiedine hits Larson, who slips and quickly gets back up. Larson looks tentative, though.

9:35- Larson shoots for a single, but Saffiedine defends and a throw attempt by Larson backfires. He lands on his back but grabs Saffiedine’s leg and works for a submission. Can’t get anything, and Saffiedine strikes from half-guard. With a minute left, this could be Saffiedine’s round based on that alone.

9:36- Larson dropped the first round, and doesn’t look like himself. He looks a bit tired. Rutten-Frye have a debate over striker and wrestler conditioning. Frye says wrestlers are better-looking, and them’s fightin’ words for Rutten. Luckily, Kruck breaks it up before we are forced to witness a fight way better than any of the bouts on the pay-per-view.

9:39- Larson is simply backing up to the cage, sitting on his back leg, and every now and then coming forward with a punch or two. He does finally shoot, two minutes into the second round.

9:41- Larson never gets the takedown, and gives up after a minute and a half of trying. Saffiedine is picking away at Larson with strikes, and Larson isn’t showing much energy or immediacy.

9:45- Great straight right to the body by Saffiedine in the third round, Larson immediately tries a sloppy shot, but Saffiedine defends easily. Larson goes for another single leg a moment later, but Saffiedine is defending well.

9:46- Saffiedine defends, gets his legs out and Larson doesn’t spring up, so Saffiedine goes to his back and takes it. Larson rolls over and is on his back now, with Saffiedine punching away from half guard. We’re looking at a 30-27 win for Saffiedine here, if Larson doesn’t do something in the last minute.

9:49- Frye thinks Larson looked sick, and there definitely was something not right. Frye correctly notes that you don’t want to say anything in the cage, though, and get the “Tito Ortiz list of excuses” going. Judges all score it 30-27 for Saffiedine.

9:54- Up next we have Joey Villasenor vs. Danille Villefort, who stepped in as a replacement for Drew Mcfedries. Nothing against Villefort, but I’m really bummed that I’m not getting ready to watch Mcfedries swing around the cage right now.

9:55- Frye talks about fight records and says, “I started counting fights when I’d come home drunk and knock the old lady around.” Kruck about dies trying to cover it up- “Whoa, whoa…I’ll bet she got a few wins over you, too.” Bwaahahahahahahaha!

9:58- Villefort controls range with leg kicks, then flops Villasenor to the mat, landing in half guard. Villefort briefly looks for a keylock, then goes for an arm triangle. He gives both up, though, and then passes to side mount.

10:02- Villasenor is able to stand and land some nice shots, along with a late takedown, but it’s too little, too late on my card. 10-9 Villefort.

10:05- Good striking from both, Villasenor lands some good shots, then Villefort gets an explosive takedown halfway through the second round.

10:09- Villefort takes the second round, too. He works from the guard most of the rest of the round, landing some elbows, then passes to half guard and eventually side mount right before the round ends.

10:11- Stinging leg kick to start round three for Villefort. Villasenor answers with a hard right and clinches Villefort against the cage. He’s trying to take Villefort down, but I’m not sure why, as he needs a stoppage and it’s not likely to come on the mat.

10:14- Villasenor got a takedown, but couldn’t do much with it and Villefort ended up taking Villasenor’s back in a scramble, then mounting him near the end of the fight. Another 30-27 fight, for sure.

10:17- Villefort gets the unanimous decision with 30-27 cards from all three judges. The fans don’t care and boo lustily, because Villefort is Brazilian and Villasenor is AMURR-CAN! Gotta love Texas!

10:20- Next in THE SHARK CAGE, Jorge Masvidal will take on Paul Daley. Bas Rutten predicts a decision. Don Frye predicts a “double overtime”, then a “triple secret probation”. I’m not making this up. I’m guessing that Daley will be the one on probation?

10:22- Kruck again repeats incorrectly that Daley is having his first post-UFC release fight. That explains a lot of Frye’s comments, too. There is no one talking to these guys in their headsets, whatsoever. The inmates are running the asylum! But come on, Kruck. You couldn’t be bothered to check FightFinder before the event, for God’s sake?!?

10:26- Daley comes out much more aggressively, mixing punches and kicks and working the body as well as the head very well. Masvidal doesn’t look all that comfortable standing with Daley, but isn’t even hinting at a takedown attempt two minutes into round one.

10:29- Daley tries a, a…I don’t know…one-handed-handstand roundhouse kick? His wrestling may not be the best, but his breakdancing looks great. Masvidal says “F this!”, gets a takedown, but Daley stands right back up and goes back to the slowest public execution ever.

10:33- Round two is underway and Masvidal is still doing nothing but backing up and blocking. He isn’t letting Daley land most of his power punches, but still…not a very good long-term strategy. Masvidal gets a takedown 1 1/2 minutes in, and that’s a better strategy, for sure.

10:35- Daley stands up, and Masvidal tries for the takedown again…can’t get it, and Daley finally gets separation with a 1:30 left in the round. Then, what do you know? Masvidal takedown with a minute left as Daley locks up full guard and wonders why the wrestling gods hate him so.

10:37- Referee Kerry Hatley stands them up with 12 seconds left (!), after Masvidal had, oh, 48 seconds to work from Daley’s guard. That makes a lot of sense…if you just want to give Daley a chance to land a quick kill-shot. Kruck actually applauds Hatley for good refereeing after the silly decision to stand the two up. Meanwhile, Frye refers to his gruff voice as “sexy”.

10:41- The third round begins as Masvidal continues blocking Daley’s punches, then lands an easy takedown just over a minute in. Daley scoots back against the cage, but can’t stand up, and looks up at the ref and gives the “come on” gesture, as if to say, “Hey, this guy has had a whole 45 seconds to work, this is kickboxing, not MMA! Stand us up!” Incredibly, Hatley does just that.

10:43- Masvidal shoots for another takedown, and- get this!- Daley actually defends it. He punches Masvidal as Masvidal attempts to stand back to his feet, and he flops to his back. Daley punches away but can’t get anything. A minute later, the fight ends as time expires while Daley punches Masvidal again while Masvidal lays on his back, against the cage.

10:45- I would have given Daley the third due to aggression, though he didn’t land much in the last two big exchanges. Masvidal didn’t do much, though, and Hatley really sabotaged him with the quick standup earlier in the round. The judges have it 30-27 and 29-28 (twice) for Daley. 30-27? Someone gave Daley the second round? I would call that “unbelievable”, but this is MMA…bad judging is par for the course.

10:50- Daley shows his characteristic classiness by responding to a question about his late punch on Koscheck and fans who aren’t crazy for his persona by mocking them, saying he’s making “a lot more” money than them, thanks to their decision to purchase tickets to watch him fight. Yes, Paul…they all came to watch you. Throwing punches into another fighter’s guard and getting taken down, then begging the ref for standups is how you put asses in the seats!

10:53- Frye and Rutten talk about the love-hate relationship between a trainer and fighter. Frye jokes that it’s like a good marriage, to which Bas says that his marriage is “love-love”. Frye says, “I know, sweetheart, you love me, don’t ya?” Well, I love you, Don Frye. I wish he was given a microphone at every major MMA event, honestly.

10:56- Next up is Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou, who faces Houston Alexander. Awesome. So two sometimes-exciting fighters who are prone to random horrid performances and quick gas-outs if a fight goes longer than three minutes. Who can honestly predict what will happen here?

10:58- Two things I love about Don Frye’s announcing: 1) he sounds almost identical to Billy Bob Thornton’s character in Sling Blade, and 2) he finishes about 70% of all his comments (funny or not) with a near-maniacal laugh, akin to that of Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart in the old WWF days.

11:00- Alexander looks absolutely beastly in his corner during introductions, and I resist the urge to get pumped up. He looked even more fired up before his bore-fest with Kimbo Slice, and then immediately went to skipping around the cage merrily, avoiding contact whenever possible.

11:03- Alexander immediately targets the ridiculously heavily-taped left leg of Sokoudjou, as the two trade leg kicks for the first minute. A few wild hooks miss the mark for both fighters, and a front kick lands for Sokoudjou. Out of nowhere, Sokoudjou lands a cracking left hook and a leg kick, and Sokoudjou is absolutely rocked. He works for a takedown, though, actually getting a single leg and pushing Sokoudjou against the cage. He clinches, trying to regain his bearings as Sokoudjou tries to create space.

11:05- A right hook lands for Sokoudjou, and Alexander continues on gamely. Sokoudjou is swinging very wildly now, and breathing heavily through his mouth. If Alexander finishes this round intact, he may be able to mount a comeback in the next stanza. Just as I type that, Alexander (who was on his back) reverses position into Sokoudjou’s guard and throws punches.

11:08- A stiff straight punch lands for Alexander. This is now a Joe Rogan special: rocked vs. gassed! There’s a much more tentative pace top open the second round, though Alexander starts landing right hands. He pours on the punches as Sokoudjou crumples against the cage, then flops over. Alexander punches away, probably fifty or sixty punches while Sokoudjou simply tries to cover up, and the referee doesn’t seem to want to stop it!

11:10- The ref finally decides to stop the fight, and Bas Rutten giddily exclaims, “That stoppage was a little late!” He and Don Frye then laugh maniacally. I hate to use the word “maniacally” twice in one column, but there’s no other way to describe it. They sound like old-time movie villains. I’ll bet Frye was twisting his moustache.

11:14- Kruck gives Alexander the Chael Sonnen treatment in the post-fight interview, referring to him as “a DJ from Nebraska”. Yes, and Chuck Liddell was an accountant from California. Matt Hughes was just a farmer from Illinois.

11:17- The announcers watch a replay of the final string of strikes, as Rutten sings “Yo-hoooo, yo-hooo, it’s off to work we go” to the tune of the unanswered blows.

11:21- And now for the main event of this installment of UFC Fight Night Live er…Shark Fights 13: Keith Jardine against Trevor Prangley!

11:23- Don Frye- “Hope you’re enjoying the fights. If you’re not…I’m gonna kill ya.” If they ever put this on DVD, that quote has to go on the box.

11:27- Folks, this is not for the vaunted Shark Fights Light Heavyweight Championship. Just wanted to make that clear. Jardine looks very…Jardine-y, working leg kicks and altogether looking like the world’s scariest seventy-year old.

11:29- From the clinch, Prangley lands a beautiful knee that rocks Jardine. Somewhere in the back, Houston Alexander nods in appreciation. Then, they hit the mat as Prangley takes down Jardine, and Jardine gets not one, but two very good arm bar attempts that Prangley deftly escapes.

11:32- Prangley was in side mount, but Jardine regains guard. He’s probably wishing Kerry Hatley was refereeing the fight right about now. He sits back for a leg lock, doesn’t get it but is able to stand up in the ensuing scramble. Jardine lands a nice right hand before the round ends.

11:36- Jardine is pushing the action, waving Prangley on before landing a nice right hand. Prangley says, “okay, let’s do this” and lands a right of his own that rocks Jardine again. Jardine is able to recover and goes back to the low kicks.

11:40- Third round starts as Jardine may be down two rounds. Those two huge shots in the first and second rounds are hard to overcome, particularly with just occasional leg kicks and a solid punch here and there.

11:41- This is going like the other two started: Jardine is way more busy, landing fairly often, and Prangley is largely standing in place and looking for hard counter punches. Jardine may have stolen a round or two already, depending on how the judges scored activity, aggressiveness and volume versus Prangley’s two big strikes and better quality shots.

11:45- Jardine lands a hard right with a minute left, and Prangley goes into a bit of desperation mode, trying for a takedown that Jardine defends. Jardine lands another big right and Prangley alternates trying to block with throwing little punches in response. Jardine definitely takes the third round. It’ll be interesting to see how the judges scored it.

11:47- Two judges go 29-28 Prangley, and one goes 29-28 Jardine for a split decision victory for Prangley. The crowd boos, of course. They are booing just about everything tonight, after all. It was a close fight…either way wouldn’t have been a robbery.

11:50- Prangley calls it the biggest fight of his career, both because he stepped up to light heavyweight and because of the respect he has for Jardine. He says he feels a little bad because he knew Jardine was down on his luck before the fight, already. Says they were both trying to turn things around.

11:51- “That was like two hours of rough, hard sex. I need a shot of tequila and a cigarette now,” says Frye.

11:52- The guys spend a little too much time talking about how every fight was great (when not all of them were) and how stacked the card was. Thou doth protest too much!

11:54- As the show concludes, Kruck stumbles, “We’d like to fight- we’d like to thank everyone involved…” Well, Don Frye would like to fight everyone involved, probably.

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Tags: Bas Rutten, Danille Villefort, Don Frye, Houston Alexander, Joey Villasenor, Jorge Masvidal, Keith Jardine, Paul Daley, Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou, Shark Fights, Shark Fights 13, Trevor Prangley